Archive for July, 2012

Things Meme made me do

July 21, 2012

I watched The Fifth Element.  You know, that cheeze-tastic movie with Bruce Willis and the lady without eyebrows, and directed by Luc Besson.

So, thanks to the internet, I figured out there’s a lot more going on in this movie than I first thought when my brother made me watch it when it first came out on DVD.  (It’s his favorite movie, by the way.  Honestly.  He loves it.  I think he has a bit of a crush on Bruce Willis.  Although to be fair, so did almost everybody in the world at one time or another.  I just didn’t think the bleach blond look did a lot for him – or the orange.  What is up with Gaultier and the orange in this movie?)   So now, I do respect it more.  Still not in the top ten, though.  Sorry, bro.

However, I did watch John Carter recently.  (Based on Edgar Rice Burroughs Mars books.)  I could give two nothings about the actual Princess or John Carter or their romance.  I was totally captivated by the Tharks (not the Martians).  Their horde, their rituals, their religion – even the overdone arena/gladiator scene is somehow new and fresh in this movie.  There’s something so awesome about them – I can’t quite explain it.  I also quite liked the bits of steampunk-ishness.

I’m afraid that John Carter might be my Fifth Element.  I can’t tell if it’s bad, because I am overwhelmed with the four-armed awesome that is the Tharks.  And Tars Tarkis.  And Solas.  All my tears for them.  It appears I am a sucker for weepy family tropes tucked into stupid sci-fi/fantasy novels.   And alien physiology.   Sigh.  (Maybe it’s just alien weepy family tropes that I like.  I do have trouble with John Carter wearing his wife’s wedding ring with his ring on the same finger.  Yes, I know, angst.  Still, his wife either had a really fat ring finger or John Carter has unusually skinny fingers.  My mother, who is zaftig and a bit taller than my father, still wears a smaller ring than he does, because he’s got big knuckles, like most guys I know. )

Now I want to go out and read the books, but I’m afraid I won’t like them.  Because they’re full of the problematic stuff of a 100 years ago.  And not just any 100 years ago, but the 100 years of the most id-ficcy Ur-tropey dude-bro thing ever.   Maybe when I have time, and find the books my brother’s got.  I just don’t want to shell out the money for this yet.

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More Thor-ness

July 7, 2012

I was going to write some more fic, but found myself staring at the screen and checking email.  Go me.

So now, I will post my thoughts (scintillating) about having actually seen Thor, the movie.  (I am so edgy, you’d best keep your distance, else you might get cut.  Ha.)

ALIENS?!

ALIENS?!  What the ever-loving thing was the writer thinking?  They should know better!  Technology so advanced = magic bleh trope.  THOR’S A DIETY, NOT E.T.

I’m so irritated, it ended up in capslock.

At least he didn’t end up with the girl.  (I do think it would be nicer for her to end up a lesbian with Darcy, but there you go.)

I kept running this through my head, trying to figure out the best way this piece of fanart might actually turn into decent fanfic – but all the true horrors and pleasures of fanfic escape this movie.  There is no gratuitous sex, gay or otherwise, there is no real clothing/furniture/technology pron.  There is a little bit of woobie.  Okay, movie, I’ll give you that.  But nobody is getting their id stroked from what bits were available.  It’s not really long enough for the scenes that are most interesting, and the scenes that draw out forever (getting to the hammer) are kind of unnecessary.  Also, what – the sword in the stone analogue?  *rolls eyes*

I was a little irritated with the whole Marvel Universe thing coming over and over, but it is a franchise so you have to allow for them to sell it.  Never mind the Grape Nuts they were also trying to sell.  (Did anybody else notice that?)

I also have a hard time buying most actors as scientists/nerds.  I just do.  I have spent my life around them and being one and it’s just different.   What Hollywood thinks is nerdy and scientific is not what I have seen.  Fake glasses don’t cut it.  Nor do whimsical t-shirts.  Will think more and come back to this.