Archive for September, 2008

3rd Entry for September 29, 2008

September 29, 2008

Lynda Carter gained fame playing Wonder Woman, America’s ultimate female superhero. Today she’s working against another ‘villain’ — irritable bowel syndrome. – from USA Today January 17, 2003.

Okay – IBS has a spokesperson – although she doesn’t have it – it’s her mother. But I suppose if you actually had IBS you’d been too busy bent over looking for a pot to sit on to travel much. Although I read on the internet – the source of all truth – Tyra Banks has admitted to having IBS. But she’s probably dealing with it by making “America’s Next Top Model” cry.


2nd Entry for September 29, 2008

September 29, 2008

I had a bad moment last week – which might indicate why I didn’t blog. I got the stuff for my 15 year college reunion – which is next summer.

I found out my freshman year roommate, who was very nice – she’s now a high-powered lawyer in a NYC firm doing pro bono work that was part of a team that recently got huge awards (multi-million dollars) for these victims of violence (in Bosnia and Peru).

Me, I’m changing toner for whiny 18-21 year olds. Sigh.

I’m mostly over it – it’s just that I was pretty happy with life until I heard that. As happy as I could be, anyway, given that the nearest Thai restaurant is 45-60 minutes away (my signpost for civilization), I’m underemployed, I’m drowning in housework, and my son regularly sticks his feet in my face – and laughs tauntingly.

Entry for September 29, 2008

September 29, 2008

W has been doing this strange thing – he’s looked up a couple of past boyfriends/interests of mine – and I’m not certain why. Maybe he thinks it’s funny. It’s sort of weird. But something funny did come out of it.

An ex of mine actually ran for office (county clerk) a couple of years ago. How weird is that? I mean, I couldn’t even sustain interest in dating him, how could he manage to interest a whole county? And worse, if he attained a high office and some intrepid journalist managed to find me, what could I say?

“He was on a lot of anti-depressants at the time, he kept talking about his next girlfriend the whole time we were together, and I was 10 years younger than him, and oh yeah, a couple of years after we broke up and I had moved to another state, he tried stalking me (and calling my family) long-distance to return a sweater I thought he had given me. He only stopped after my current boyfriend paid him a little visit. Vote for the other guy.”

Entry for September 18, 2008

September 18, 2008

For a kid who’s been sleeping with other people virtually his whole life, Henry is terrible at sharing a bed. I find myself waking up with him either in my face in a C shape with his feet against my stomach and his fists on my cheeks, or pushing so hard on W that W is literally gripping the edge of the bed so he won’t roll off. Henry can be awfully cuddly, which is why I suppose we started this whole business. But it can get kind of crazy.

This morning, I woke up and looking at him lovingly, and he stretched up and jammed an open palmed hand fingers first into my face until I moved it so he could continue stretching. He hates sleeping alone, though – and gets mad when we move him. What to do?

Entry for September 16, 2008

September 16, 2008

My mom, curious to see how I keep my marriage together (I guess), asked what I feed W. She said, “do you make sandwiches?” This being her attempt to bridge her concept of what white people eat with her estimation of my culinary capabilities. (FYI – I do actually cook, Mom.)

But she really did want to know. I said no, and then she really wanted to know what I do instead. Maybe she was curious to see what she could make for W when we visit. Maybe.

Entry for September 15, 2008

September 15, 2008

Have you ever gone into a public toilet, and just peed like you’ve done millions of times in your life already, and then glanced into the bowl, and gone – what? Did I just do that? (especially if there seems to be something small and sort of chunky in there?) Have you? You know you haven’t done that, and yet the proof of the small chunk of biological makes you second-guess yourself – like you didn’t know what just came out of your body.

Public toilets – a necessity – but not good to reflect too long on, methinks.

Maybe it’s different with urinals.

Entry for September 11, 2008

September 11, 2008

Saw something in 8/8/08 Newsweek recently – that made me laugh and think of InLaws.

The article is basically about how to get your elders to give up driving. My favorite tip? “When you do start a discussion about driving, don’t sound alarmed. If you begin with a dramatic outburst like “Dad, you’re going to kill someone,” you’re likely to trigger resistance. Work toward the topic slowly and gently.”

Trigger resistance, huh? Snigger. I’ll just bet. The one that scared me was: “Discreetly check the car for any dents or nicks and ask whether your parents’ auto insurance rates have increased or if they’ve received traffic tickets or warnings. ” Jesus.

And if you can’t get them to give up, : “As a last resort, look into the possibility of anonymously issuing a safety complaint through the local department of motor vehicles .” How awful is that? Although I can totally see that with InLaws. Ugh – they’re never going to give up driving – Detroit’s just not designed to be friendly for the non-driver.

It’s not that they’re particularly old – I mean, 70’s and mid 70’s – they’re just so elderly – and won’t take care of their hearing/vision things – it just drives me crazy. (Take away my emotional keys by contacting the DMV! Maybe I’ll kill someone!)

Entry for September 09, 2008

September 9, 2008

I am just a _leetle_ bit annoyed with a co-worker. The message comes from down on high, gets routed through the AA (who really is awesome, but just can’t take this person) and then I do it because AA just wants the business over with. You know what the business is? A sticky computer mouse.

I’ve been hearing about this mouse for months – and then CoWorker (CW) comes down and I give her an optical mouse. That was two weeks ago. Then AA comes by and says CW says her mouse is still sticky. WTF? I gave her a mouse two weeks ago? How’d an optical mouse get sticky? Does she eat toffee and not wipe her hands? So AA pleads with me so I go up and get one of my spares (the other one goes to another prof) and check out CW’s desk – whereby I notice CW is using a roller mouse – not the optical one I gave her two weeks ago. AA thinks that CW took optical mouse 1 home – but then I ask why is this my problem if her mouse is sticky? CW took the mouse I gave her already – I mean – I’m not even supposed to dealing with CW’s work computer, never mind her home computer. Jesus CHRIST! It’s just a pain in the neck to get more from ITS, I’d just as soon not deal with them. So I connect optical mouse 2 to her computer and take off.

Jesus F’in on a crutch Christ@! I keep doing this shi – this ‘uther ‘ucking shi-. A year ago I had to actually plug in her computer – that’s right children – CW couldn’t find her power box. Then I had to deal with her USB port system – she couldn’t figure out how to connect a USB device in. Uck this. She never gives back the borrowed departmental laptops. I’d be happier if I had Alzheimer’s – so I couldn’t remember any of this garbage.

This is not my job – it’s barely ITS’s job to help her connect up her stuff – and AA is the first to say I shouldn’t do it, unless it’s for CW. My fat right American Thigh. Sick of it today.

2nd Entry for September 04, 2008

September 4, 2008

Re-read the entry about MIL. I told a friend this same story, and she said to me – “These are the people you’ve invited to live with you?”

Yes, they are. Not because I love them (they’re fine – but love is a hard word for me to say – because I think in instances like this, saying something like ‘we love them’ because they’re family – it’s just bogus.) – but because it’s the right thing to do. I’ll probably want to stick forks in my eyes and tongue for having invited them should they ever accept, but there you go. I have to do it because, honestly, the other kids in that family aren’t be in a position than they can/will do such a thing.

Entry for September 04, 2008

September 4, 2008

So Henry really reallly loves pretending to be on the phone. He’s also recently been able to say ‘hello’ – but it sort of sounds like ‘ullllo.’

We were throwing out this old cordless phone, and decided to keep the handset for Henry. He plays with it, and just loves it. He calls it ‘ulllo.’ One imagines because that’s 1 of the dozen words he can say, and also because he’s most likely imitating one of us on the phone.

This morning, he couldn’t let go of a giant truck book – so we swapped it for the phone handset. He held it all the way to daycare. Then I had to rip it from his soft child hands to bring him into school – because they have warned that if you bring in a personal item/toy, you could very well lose it there. So he’s screaming ‘ullloooo’ while I carry him into school, tears running down his face – like a perverse farewell to the phone.

Someone on in the way in commented that we all have days like this. Yes, I guess we do. I’ve just never greeted mine with an ‘ullloo.’