THAT shawl

August 17, 2014

I’m not mad, exactly, but I do wonder about pictures of some of the patterns I’ve knitted and they’re not exactly what the model pictures on the pattern are like. Especially shawls. If I’m making that shawl, I want that shawl, even if it turns out to need more yarn than is originally noted in the pattern. I want THAT shawl, not the one that is 2/3 the size of that shawl. THAT shawl, like the one the pretty model is wearing with the ivy-covered building background with the horse and the hot dude waiting for her. THAT shawl.

Part of the problem could very well be me – that I don’t block very hard and my gauge might be off because hey, who really knits a swatch on a shawl – but seriously. My shawl should not be that much smaller than the one in the pattern picture.

Just let me know. I can take it. (I can find my own ivy-colored building background and horse and hot dude. I don’t need instructions for that.)

So far, so eh

May 14, 2014

I went to the hospital a couple of weeks ago. I felt weird, my left arm felt really heavy and sort of tingly. I thought I was having a heart attack. The doctor and nurses thought I was having a stroke. It wasn’t a heart attack or a stroke.

Turned out, I probably had a pinched nerve that cleared itself up after 4 hours in the Emergency Department. They suggested I follow up with my family practitioner.

They were glad I came in, because women’s heart attacks are different than men’s and the symptoms were close enough that they did some tests and I had an EKG.

Bottom line: go to the hospital when you feel something really significant enough to take the aspirin. Or, in my case, when I stop feeling like knitting – because then something really is wrong.

selfie game weak

March 20, 2014

So, I tried to take some shots of myself wearing my latest finished object.  (Lucy in the Sky Cardigan in Cascade Yarns Longwood, zinfindel color, which is best in first photo).

lucypicsmtumblr lucypicsmback

My self-shots are weak.  Here’s the process:

Find camera.

Realize only mirror of adequate size is in the bathroom.  Find clean part of wall.  Try to take picture.  Contort until you get something reasonable in mirror.  Realize you’re too short for whole sweater to be in mirror.  Find footstool.

Try again.  Realize you don’t know where the button to actually take the photo is.  Turn camera so you can reach button.  Flick wristband out of way, which moves whole image.

Try again.  Take photo.  Swear when you realize you still have the flash on and it whites out whole image.  Turn flash off.  Contort some more.  Take photo.  Look briefly at image.  Feel bad about horrible fluorescent eco-friendly lighting.  Take a couple more shots.  Realize ancient bathrobe on back of bathroom door is in image.  Realize you have big pimple on forehead.  Figure you’ll crop that unflattering stuff out.

Find camera cable.  Upload photos.  Start editing images.  Realize that  mirror is dirty and current t-shirt looks terrible under sweater.  The sweater, which, after all, is the focus of the whole thing.  Swear some more.

Go back, change t-shirt, clean mirror.  Take opportunity to take down ancient bathrobe.  Do whole selfie thing again.

Look at second set of photos on computer.  Notice that second set of photos is bad – infinitely worse than the images with the dirty mirror.  Give up and load those anyway because people are only going to care about the sweater.

I do not know how other people do it, with all the self-consciousness going on and all the life-editing that must be applied.  Anyway, I’m thinking those are people are much better at this than I am, or their places are super clean, or that I care too much.  Either way, I’m probably just going to be placing finished item on the floor next time I want to take a picture.  (That is, after I finish mopping it clean.)

redemption

March 6, 2014

I knit my first intarsia project a while ago.  It’s hideous.  I’m kind of embarrassed by it.  I called it the Sad Penguin.  Such a mess.

Here is an in-progress picture.  (I am apparently incapable of not sharing my shame, however powerful.)

penguin2

If you turned it inside out, you’d notice where I cut the white yarn and knotted it to the other bits of the hat in a mistaken bid to try make it go better as I knit circularly.  I was 2/3 up the white before I realized I didn’t need to cut it, I could just sort of wrap it around the blue yarn and knit onward.   No wonder this pattern was designed to be knitted flat.  *HEADDESK*

I had invested too much time in this not to finish.  (Beside, I had a good amount of white yarn in that breast/tummy area of the penguin that couldn’t be used for anything else because I’d cut them like a fool. )  I thought I would keep the hat and wear it in desperation one day when all other hats were unavailable or something equally self-flagellating.

Last month my daughter found the hat and is wearing it pretty happily.  She loves it.

All’s well that end’s well.  Lesson here is that I should stop being so self-judgemental and if stuff doesn’t turn out, I should think that would still be okay.  And also that kids like stuff that might be sort of not perfect.  That’s okay, too.  (I mean, we’re all redeemed by other people’s kindness and love.  Why not this terrible-looking hat and my feelings towards it?)

future career on hold

January 13, 2014

I returned to work recently and was talking to a friend. I was this close *holds fingers millimeters apart* to not returning. I said all sorts of bold words, even going so far as to boast about the possibility of me writing porn to not return.

“You know,” says I, “all that 30 Shades of Grey.”

She thinks a minute while I’m talking and then corrects me. “It’s 10 Shades of Grey.”

She talks some more and than I realize something. “Hey! It’s 50 Shades of Grey!”

So I guess writing that erotica for cash money is pretty far off if I can’t even nail down the title of what I’m aiming to copy. *headdesk*

On a similar note, I did get some good notes on the bit I wrote.  Which is a relief.  Because writing explicit scenes is not like writing about space travel.  (Only a couple hundred? people have experienced space travel.)  And people do like to compare with their own experiences.  So, I’m glad I’m not so far out there as to be unbelievable/unreadable.

post regret

January 9, 2014

I have just posted a new story.  It’s a genderbend het.  It’s explicit.  It’s nervewracking.

I should never post while there is time during the day that I can worry that nobody likes me, that they really  hate me and I should go eat some worms.

I don’t know why I post when I feel so terrible the day of posting.

*goes to hide*

Note:  I had a lovely comment for another fic which while it doesn’t exactly make me feel better about my current issues, it does make me feel better in general.

Pacific Rim movie

January 6, 2014

Just saw Pacific Rim.  I had a couple of thoughts.  Just stupid little formless things.

First: the equation that might have indicated the exponential increase of kaiju attacks – I’m definitely not mathematical, but it seems like an equation like that could either be much simpler or else it could have been done in a graphical format.  You know, the whole math thing be done two moves earlier like they talk about so much in the movie.

Second: most scientists I know don’t fetishize their work as it is presented by their characters.   Yes, lots of them are weird and over-involved in their product.   It’s their work and hence while really cool to them, it is also humdrum and kind of a pain and an ever-present burden hovering over their shoulder as they worry about their jobs.

Third:  Guillermo del Toro loves the conflict between hardware and soft nature.  He is usually on the side of hardware, but he does love all the flourishes only crazy organics can do.  He also totally loves anime, and is obviously the same age as W because W could pinpoint a lot of the homage.

Fourth:   I have got to stop reading movie meta.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it.  I don’t give a crap about spoilers.  But people love these movies and they start theorizing and I eat that up, so delicious, and then it gets me all excited about the movie.  I imagine the movie is going to be awesome.  Then I see the movie and it’s a bit of a let-down.  I just imagine that the movie would have been so awesome before I was in on somebody else’s squee.  Very little can match somebody else’s squee.  You’ve got to build up your own squee yourself.  At least, I do.

aww, no

December 19, 2013

I just got an email about tax software.

This compounded with having returned from the UK after being overseas for five months, unpacking, jetlag, getting the kids up and going to school, getting and planning food from an empty cupboard, changing my insurance, sorting through the seasonal clothing, laundry, holiday shopping and plans, cleaning a house that’s been empty for five months, and a really, really bad cold.

Forget this.  I’m going to knit.

crafting for speed and charity

December 3, 2013

My son’s school is having a Christmas market.  The things they asked for donations for seemed a little weird to me – maybe it’s the way things are done here in the UK (where we are until the end of the year), but I wasn’t about to go out and buy something nice to donate to have somebody else buy it to donate the money to the school, especially if the amount the final purchaser spent was less than I spent.   It seems nicer to donate something homemade – but the times we were supposed to turn in the goodies was the day before, which makes the goodies less good.  (I have a rule about donating/buying freshly baked goods.  They need to be freshly baked to be good.)

So I asked if I could just donate some knitted hats or something.  They seemed to think this was weird, but they thought this was okay.  (I did this at Henry’s other school, with making some mustaches for some party.  I guess knitting is just the thing I’m going to start offering now.  It’s kind of nice to have something to be able to offer.)

Would you buy this?

topdownswirl

Or this?  (You know, when it’s finished.  It’s supposed to be Fish Hat, made with some odds and ends.)

fishiehat

I don’t even care about how much money they’re going to get for the hats.  (Not really.  I mean, ideally, the cost of the yarn, but because it’s a gift to the school, it doesn’t really matter.  Besides, it’s just scraps of stuff I was thinking about donating anyway.)

Regardless if the items get purchased, it’s better for my current sensibility, if not for the bit of cramping in my hands while I hurry to finish by the due date.

happy happy

November 15, 2013

Today is the anniversary of my first knitting class. I’m very happy I took it.🙂

Picture of latest finished project.  (My gift to me.)

clapotisdone